Do you ever regret nagging your
children? Do you feel guilty
afterwards? Inside you'll discover
the secret to positive parenting and
getting your kids to cooperate.
A young mother yelled at her son,
Sammy, "Don't tease your sister.
It's becoming a bad habit." "No it
isn't," replied, Sammy. "It's
becoming a hobby."
The young mother yelled "Don't"
and Sammy rebelled by sassing her.
"Don't" is a negative word with a
negative picture. Here's an example
of what I mean.
A Self Esteem Example:
Years ago I counseled a
17-year-old goal kicker. He was
about to be dropped from his
football team because he kept
kicking the ball to the right of the
goal post. I asked him, "Do you say
something right before you kick the
ball?"
"Yes, I tell myself, 'Don't
kick the ball to the right.'"
His mind didn't register "don't" but
it did register the negative
picture.
It was as if he told himself,
"Kick the ball to the right." I told
him to drop the word, "Don't." He
changed his sentence and told
himself, "I am kicking the ball
through the goal posts." His picture
turned positive. He moved toward
that picture and remained the star
goal kicker.
Self Esteem and the Power
of "Don't" to Influence Character:
We move toward our pictures. This
is the key to remember. Our minds
don't register "don't." Our minds
register the picture after the word,
"don't." Check out the following
sentences and notice the pictures
your child sees.
"Don't sass me" becomes "Sass
me."
"Don't tease your little sister"
becomes "Tease your little sister."
"Don't spoil your dinner" becomes
"Spoil your dinner."
"Don't hit your brother" becomes
"Hit your brother."
"Don't leave your bike in the rain"
becomes "Leave your bike in the
rain."
"Don't bang on the piano" becomes
"Bang on the piano."
"Don't run through the house"
becomes "Run through the house."
"Don't leave your toys in the living
room" becomes "Leave your toys in
the living room."
"Don't be noisy" becomes "Be noisy."
Can you feel the heaviness of
"don't" in those sentences? Can you
hear the nagging? Your child may
stop the negative behavior for the
moment and then start it up again.
How to Be a Positive
Parent and Build Self Esteem with
Character:
The secret is to give positive
directions that give your child a
word picture to move toward. Here
are some examples that show the
opposite wordings to the above
directions.
"Speak in a respectful tone."
"Remember to treat your little
sister gently."
"Save your appetite for tonight's
dinner."
"Show me how nicely you can play
with your brother."
"Bring your bike in out of the
rain."
"Use a soft touch when playing the
piano."
"Please walk through the house."
"Pick up your toys before going out
to play."
"Lower your voice."
Conclusion ~ How Positive
Directions Build Self Esteem and
Character:
When you give a positive
direction you give your child a
positive picture to move toward.
Your child can visualize that
picture. He'll feel more like
cooperating than rebelling. You'll
not only build self esteem with
character, you'll become a positive
parent too.
